Back to Mass.
Words cannot describe the feeling of being home after having made this crazy move. The comfort of home, being 100% myself and feeling safe were three huge things missing here in SD. Once I arrived in Boston I had an extra pep in my step making my way to the pick up area of Jet Blue where I knew my parents were waiting. Feeling their love through several welcoming hugs I was happy to be back. There’s something about the physical presence of your parents love that just feels good and safe. I definitily missed that.
Being home in Massachusetts but knowing I had a place and life in San Diego felt right. For the first time since graduation I didn’t feel anxious or uneasy about the fact that I wasn’t living with my college roommates anymore. Finally I had a place and a plan that was in action. Those feelings of being in limbo and constantly questioning my decisions about living with my parents and wanting to move to San Diego while others moved and settled into Boston between graduation and now were finally over. I was always anxious and uneasy, finding my extrovert self pulling back and being an introvert and I didn’t fully understand why. I debated whether or not it had to do with the idea of moving and started doubting myself and the idea of moving creating even more anxiety during that time. Hanging out with my best friends before the move provoked anxiety because I questioned why it seemed so normal to them but for me I was craving the past, Amherst and living back in our old run-down apartments. I was so hung-up on the loss of college and my social life there that I couldn’t allow myself to just relax and enjoy my time living in North Attleboro again. With that being said, being home in MA after having made this move I finally felt at ease. Things felt right. I no longer had this lingering feeling of anxiety of the unknown or the I miss when’s. It was a feeling of i’m happy in the now.
These girls don’t even know how much they mean to me. I can honestly say these 6 chicks will forever be my ladies. Being in San Diego trying to meet friends is HARD. Very freaking hard. Finding you gems in college is unheard of. You all seriously are my best friends and no distance or time away from each other will change that. Being back in the presence of you chicks brought out the comfortable side of me and allowed me to be 100% myself again. As we all continue our journeys through this so called real world I know nothing about the dynamic of our relationships will change. Yes we might be working full-time for shit jobs, boss jobs, living in Massachusetts, living in San Diego, going to grad-school, moving out of the country but one thing will never change and that’s who we are as people when we’re all together. Thanks for being my people. Thank you for bringing out my favorite side of me. You girls really are one of a kind. I’ll miss you in the meantime but til then… XOXO. Shoutout to Myrna and I for ‘misplacing’ aka getting my wallet stolen. And Courtney for losing her car keys and almost getting us stuck in Boston! Oh, and to Mariah for saving us from being stuck in Boston!
A huge thank you to everyone who made my 23rd birthday so amazing. Keeb, Kyle, H, Erika and your kiddos who I missed so much! My friends who I saw in Boston, Grandma Marie, Grandpa and Grandma Carol! And of course Mom, Dad, Ky, and (via FaceTime Steven). You all mean so much to me! Love you all!